"how many roads..."

utensils of a wicked mind

what a hectic day. i just found a little bit of time for myself. i feel like a messy kitchen. so many things to wash and put away! i have a lot of ideas in my head, mainly provoked by music. most of the music that i am listening to these days are of european origin. most of them i understand, the rest they're simply healing instruments. instruments that say something without even trying, instruments that advise us without expecting anything in return. instruments that calculate for you your moods and your mood swings. instruments that paint your life with shadows, unreal but vibrant. a whole bunch of utensils to use.

the kitchen really needs some healing too.

hairy recollections

i had a very funny dream last night. i dreamt that i was at the hairdresser's with my sister, she wanted to dye her hair. it was around 8 p.m., time for the hairdresser to close. so since we were his last clients, his wife made us all coffee and invited us to stay at the salon for a short while. we all sat on the couches that he had lying around the fairly sized room, and we chatted. at some point i got up to go look through an old shoe box that had caught my attention when we first came in. i rummaged through it and found a ring that i had a lost a while ago, and i also found letters from my best friend that i had also lost a while ago, and a few random papers from my last years at SCHOOL! we're talking papers that date back to 1997!!
i don't know how to explain my dream, or maybe i do. last night i talked about my best friend with another best friend of mine and i was eying my own ring trying to decide if i like it or not. but is our unconscious this silly? what is "it" trying to tell me?

my dreams are more real than my reality.

doppio

(pic not taken by me)

i feel that i have my own body but you are my soul

i just can't get back

a simple phone conversation, a simple "i love you", a gentle voice at the end of the day, a sweet
meal, a blank look, a blank book, a new promise, a new dawn...i look around me and everything is too narrow, there isn't any room for me to exist and expand, my friends are shrinking too, no more space to mingle, and my legitimate circle is closing in. is it the effect of war? my social life? me? my messy schedule? i want to be able to stretch my arms and see the sky, feel the space and enjoy the noise again.

just dance. just sway. just move. just be.